Chapter 12

Chapter 12
I woke up to a bright, burning light in my eyes with Craven shaking me by my shoulder. “Hey Drake, Drake, you feeling okay? You look pretty worn out”
“I’m okay, just really tired.” I said squinting my eyes from the light and also so Craven would see that they were still red.
I really wasn’t okay. In fact the tears from last night were still burning my eyes, and my shirt was still a little wet. I just didn’t want anyone to know yet. Especially since Luna had just left my life and I was still dealing with the pain.
“But Craven, please tell me; for the love of god, why would you shake an injured man?”
“Oh, right, sorry about that. I’m just used to you being unstoppable. Can you move yet?” He said sitting in the same chair Luna had sat in not more than a few hours ago.
I tried picking up my arm and it barely twitched, but I could still feel the pain surge up my nerves and jolt my brain. I barely even registered it though; the pain from last night hurt so much worse and it numbed out everything else.
“No, not yet, but hopefully I’ll be moving again soon.”
“Well that sucks, but you should take things a little slower. You know, you’re lucky to be alive. If J.P. hadn’t shown up, then those skaters probably would’ve killed you.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. How is J.P. anyways? When I last saw him he seemed pretty worn out.”
“Oh, he’s fine. He still comes to school and he doesn’t even have a scratch on him. Then again those skaters didn’t stand a chance against him anyways. They all just ran once a few of them started flying vertically backwards.”
I was relieved to know that J.P. was okay and I even chuckled at how relaxed Craven made everything seem. But now I just had to tell someone about what happened last night. If I didn’t, no one would ever believe what happened.
“Hey Craven, you wanna hear something interesting?” I said looking up at the ceiling and thinking of exactly how I was going to tell him.
“Huh, what’s up?” he said grabbing my breakfast tray and nibbling at the muffin on it.
I took a deep breath and said it as painlessly I could, “Luna came to my room last night. I woke up in the middle of the night and she was sitting right where you are now. She said that she was interested in me but that she’d have to go find out something, and that she wouldn’t be back for a while. Then she left out the window, without saying another word and I was left here all alone.” He sat there for a second and I could tell from the look on his face that he didn’t believe me.
“Are you sure she did? I mean, they don’t allow visitors that late. Plus you’ve been on so many drugs, you were probably just hallucinating.” He said taking another bite of my muffin.
“Yeah, I’m sure, and I know I wasn’t hallucinating. I know because I can still feel the pain in my heart from the sight of her leaving my life again.” I said while holding back more tears.
“Drake, I’m seriously worried about you.” He said while shaking his head back and forth. I could tell from the tone in his voice that he was doubtful about everything I’d been saying. “You say that you met this girl at the rave, but I asked around and no one even remembers seeing someone that looks anywhere similar to her. Then, when you left the rave, you didn’t get a phone number, a school, and after that she vanishes from your life. Plus, now you’re saying that she was in this room last night? Are you sure you didn’t dream her up?”
This pissed me off so much; my body was automatically cursing myself for not being able to punch him in the face right then. I was so furious at Craven for even thinking that Luna could just be in my mind; it made my whole body ache trying not to think of killing him. My joints started to pop as I controlled myself from bitching him out and cursing his life. But I calmed down enough to explain my point of view.
“I’m telling you the truth. I woke up in the middle of the night, because my nightmares came back, and there she was sitting in the corner waiting for me. She was just sitting there until she stood up and said that she had some questions to ask me. After she was done asking questions she said she had to go look for someone and she went out the window. And don’t say it’s a lie because I’m telling the truth!” Now he had a look of disbelief, confusion, and what I thought was sorrow.
He just sighed and said, “Well, Drake, if that’s the truth, then she’s already dead.”
This hit me like falling out of bed and landing on a dumbbell. For a second I couldn’t even blink and I could feel my heart skip a few beats.
“What do you mean, she’s already dead?” I said trying to prevent myself from hyperventilating.
“Well Drake I know you can’t tell, I mean you haven’t even been out of bed since you’ve been here, but we’re on the fifth floor. If you’re telling me the truth then she’d just be a pile of human flesh and blood on the ground by now.”
No; it couldn’t be true. If Luna was dead I’d be able to tell. Besides, she can’t be dead.
“Look out the window and tell me if you see anything on the ground.” I prayed that she might still be alive; if she was even down there. Craven just sighed standing up and putting down the tray while he walked over to the window.
He looked down and said, “Nope, nothing, not even imprint or crime scenes tape.”
“That can’t be!” I know I saw her go out the window, but where could she have gone? “Craven are you sure were on the fifth floor?”
“Yeah, I’m sure, I’m looking out the window right now and it looks pretty far down. We’re high enough that if anyone jumped out, they wouldn’t be living to talk about it.”
When he said this two things happened simultaneously: one, my heart broke for the second time in less than a day; and two, I actually started to question myself if Luna was real or not. I mean, it was possible that she was just in my head. I had dreamed about her before I even met her. She made me feel better than anything else in the world and she seemed to completely understand me. She was the only girl that ever liked me or even wanted to talk to me. Now, if that was my imagination last night, that would explain how she got in my room and went out a fifth story window. But I still didn’t want to accept that she didn’t exist. She made too happy for her to be just my imagination. I wanted to get up out of this god forsaken hospital bed and look for her; but I could barely even move my arms, let alone stand up. I could feel my tears about to pour out again but I couldn’t let Craven see them. He would never understand how she made me feel or how much pain I was in right now.
“Drake, are you going to be okay?” He said moving away from the window and back towards me. By this point I had completely ignored the fact that Craven was still in the room and I just wanted to be alone.
“I just need to be alone for a little while. I’ll talk to you later Craven.” I turned my head away from him so he couldn’t see my eyes about to overflow with heartache.
“Okay man, but if you need me, just let me know okay? You’ve been there for me, so I’ll be there for you; whatever you need.” He said making his way to the door.
“I know, and thank you, but please just leave.” I think he could tell I was about to cry, so he left the room without saying anything else. I suffered for a five long minutes after he left before I let my tears drain out. I never cried that hard before. Personally, I had never cried before last night, but this time it was worse. It felt like losing a loved one before it was their time to go.  All you wanted was to spend a few more days with them, but in your heart you knew they were never coming back. I don’t know how long I cried, but it seemed like forever. I never understood why people cried until now. I always used to think that crying was a waste of time because it would never fix the problem, only make it worse. But now I understood. Crying helps you let go when you lose something or someone very close to you and you can’t get them back. But by the time I was done crying my whole shirt was wet and the salt burned my eyes to the point it felt like they were on fire. I couldn’t wipe away my tears because my arms still wouldn’t move. That day, that Tuesday, was the saddest day of my life. I know that no matter what, even if I died a thousand times over, I would never forget those tears my heart cried.
             After I was done crying I thought about a lot of things. I thought about Luna and if I would ever see her again or if she was just a creation of my mind. I wondered why my mom still hadn’t stopped by to check on me in the hospital. I thought about that night at the rave and how much I loved Luna. I couldn’t believe the only woman I had ever loved could be just in my head. Then, for the sake of loneliness, I thought about everything Luna said last night; about how I reminded her of the person she loved and about that’s why she liked me so much. She said there was a something about me, but she never said what or why. She said she had to go look for someone. Who was she going to look for? What did it have to do with me?
              I was asking myself all these questions when this turned into the absolute worst day of my life. I was lying there wondering where Luna had gone when the nurse came in.
“Drake Kalpos?” she said in a very timid voice.
“Yes?” I said with a crackling voice from all the crying I had just finished.
“There’s someone here who needs to talk to you.” And right then I knew something terrible had happened. Like when you hear someone say that you’re no longer important to them and they’ll never care about you again, no matter how much you care about them. At least, it sounded like something close to that. I just never expected it would be this bad. A police officer walked in with his hat off with his head down and he wouldn’t even look me in the eye.
“Drake, I presume?” he said in a muffled voice that made it hard to understand him.
“Yeah, that’s me. Did I do something wrong?” I was completely spaced. I’ve never dealt with the police except when they’d drop my dad off at home.
“Well, I’m not sure how to say this.” Before he told me the nurse rushed out of the room and I could see tears in her eyes.
“What’s so important that a police officer needs to tell me?” I already had a feeling about what he was going to say. I could feel my throat get tighter and my body felt stiffer than it had before. My heart ached and I knew what was coming, I just didn’t want to hear it. My body was already preparing itself for the pain to come.
“Drake, a terrible situation has arisen concerning your family.” He said while fiddling with his hat while trying to procrastinate telling me.
“Please just tell me so I can get it over with. I don’t like waiting for bad news.” Even though I said this, my heart was fighting it’s hardest to push out what was about to come.
Then, very blankly, but with a deep sadness in his voice he said, “I regret to inform you that your mother was murdered late last night.” He went on with the details concerning the murder, but I didn’t bother to listen. Even though I was expecting something this bad it still hit me harder than anything I could’ve ever been prepared for. I was suddenly dizzy and I felt nauseous. I never thought that it was possible and yet it had already happened. I couldn’t change it, I couldn’t stop it, and I definitely couldn’t handle it. I know my mom wasn’t perfect, but she still cared about me. She made me feel like there was at least one person in this world that cared about me and that gave me a reason to live. She was the closest thing I’d ever had to someone truly loving me. But now she was gone and I could feel my heart pushing up even more tears. The police officer had finished talking and just stood there waiting for my response.
“I’d like to be alone right now, if you don’t mind.” I said squeezing my eyes so he wouldn’t see me cry.
“Are you sure, boy? If you need to talk to someone we have plenty of therapists you can meet with.” He said putting his hat back on.
“I just need to be alone right now! Okay?!” And the pain was so intense I couldn’t help but get angry. I knew I was shouting but I couldn’t control it. I needed to let the pain out and him being there wasn’t helping.
“Alright, but I’ll need to speak with you later. There’s still more I need to tell you.” He said more police like now.
“Just leave!” Then he left without ever looking at me the entire time. He probably felt too guilty to tell it to my face. But I truly didn’t care. All I could do was sit there and cry as I remembered the person who had brought me into this world and cared for me like no other. She may not have done the best job she could, but she was still there for me. I never asked for anything more; just that she’d try and be my mom. She did better than I ever could’ve asked from her. I thought about all the days that were wasted now that she was gone. I still wanted to tell her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. I lay in bed for hours crying and wondering. Why? Why me? Why did everything bad have to happen to me? What am I going to do now? I had lost the only two people I had ever loved on the same day. I thought I would never see either of them ever again. The heartache made me want to just die right there so I wasn’t in so much pain. I was already bleeding on the inside; all I wanted was to make the pain go away. But no matter how much I wished it, death wouldn’t come. This was definitely the worst day of my life; and it sparked all the things that were about to come. I just didn’t know at the time.